Losing Yourself
by BePassionate24
Summary: One Shot. Based off of what Elena told Stefan in 4x16. "Look at you. Your whole world revolves around me. Maybe you're the one that needs to turn it off." What if he did take her advice..? This is my take on what the pair would be like with their humanity switches flipped to off!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, I got this request from an anonymous reader on tumblr to write a one shot fanfic about non humanity Elena and rippah Stefan. So, I did...or at least I attempted to write it. **

**Totally sorry in advance if this sucks! But, I thought I would share it on here anyways. :)**

**_This is based off of what Elena told Stefan in 4x16. "Look at you. Your whole world revolves around me. Maybe you're the one that needs to turn it off."_**

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**Losing Yourself- An SE One- Shot**

The copper taste of his last victim's blood was still on his lips, laced with the arousing floral perfume scent that was radiating off of Elena's olive colored skin. They fed together. Both recklessly, carelessly and emotionless. Neither of them giving a damn about the screams of the two high school cheerleaders that were scared. However, both of the young blondes had followed them back inside the boarding house, and with a bit of simple compulsion, neither screamed.

"So, this was what you meant when you said that you weren't the only one with your flip switched this town and when you made that comment of knowing to have fun." Elena commented, leaning over the dead body of the girl, all drained of her life, of her blood.

"Yeah, pretty much." Stefan told her, pulling Elena by the wrist and smirking, watching as Elena chucked the girl in her arms and walked over to him instead, a insatiable hunger growing between them. It had been there all day long, this magnetic like force field that was ever so present, more so now than ever before. But, the hunger that rose inside each of their bodies, wasn't from the blood lust...It was something more.

Even for someone who was emotionless and dead, Elena Gilbert without her humanity was like a modified version of Katherine Peirce. Just a little bit more on the bitchier side, however if he looked close enough, he could see the small glimpses of emotions, flicker inside her eyes. Stefan thought to himself as he pulled her near and watched when her eyes flashed something that resembled excitement, or maybe fear even. But then again, he could have cared less because she still had a smudge of blood dripping down her chin, visible on the right side of the corner of her mouth and that's all he craved.

Not her, not the taste of her lips, the feeling of her flesh under his finger tips. Stefan Salvatore, was numb to it all, just as emotionless and cold to feeling anything as she was. Yes, he had taken her advice that day in Damon's bedroom when she told him that he cared too much, that his whole world seemed to revolve around her, too much. So, he did the one thing that would make him feel nothing and still maybe deep down inside of his still beating 'pure' heart, a little bit of something.

He had turned it off, once again becoming the Rippah that Klaus had tried so hard to get back for months now. But, instead of his old 1920's drinking buddy...It was Elena's words that made Stefan realize that he had nothing else to lose, since he had already lost everything he once cared about more than anything, Her. To his brother, Damon.

Everything, all the emotions that made him care for Elena were now a blank slate of nothingness and all Stefan craved was the blood lust to drown himself in until he was so far gone into oblivion that even the screaming or tearing open of arteries from his victims didn't even phase him any longer. Because all he wanted, all he cared about was the blood. The warmth of the crimson fluid running down his throat, the way it soothed the aching in his gums and more so, the taste of it, a mixture of salt and rusting metal..Was all he told himself, that he cared for.

However, when he and Elena locked eyes in the boarding house living room. Her dark brown pools were like a bottomless pit of emptiness and that's when it happened. Stefan leaning into her, pulling her body towards him, his short finger nails digging into her arm and drawing blood as she smirked at him and wrapped her arms around his neck loosely when she spoke.

"What, does this turn you on, the blood on my lips?" She asked, her eyes dancing with desire. If there was one thing about non-humanity Elena, it was this..All she wanted to do was manipulate with sex and in the moment it was working, she was getting her way.

"Ha. Maybe." Stefan commented with a grin, pulling her against him suddenly, listening when she gasped for a breath at their abrupt closeness.

"I thought you told me that I was just like Katherine." She countered, looking around the living room briefly. They were alone, just the two of them because Damon had been working and scheming with Rebekah to find the cure that they now so desperately needed.

"Well, that was when I gave a shit. Besides, emotions are over rated." Stefan shrugged, stepping away from Elena for a moment, pivoting on his heels as he shook his head and spoke. "What, did I hurt your feelings?" He asked in a sarcastic tone, hearing when Elena let out a laugh and quickly sped in front of him, shoving him down onto the ground, far away from their little feeding frenzy from earlier in the day.

"Feelings? You're kidding right? Look, I'm bored and you told me we would be having fun. We have two dead girls on the floor and I really don't want to ruin my appetite with a blood bag. So, how about we go out again and get a few more." Elena whined, hovering over Stefan, both of her legs straddling his waistline as she watched him tried to get up.

"Aha...I never told you to get up..I'm bored and hungry. I was thinking we would have some fun, for a little while." Elena told him, a frown on her face as she bent down and sat on his stomach, smiling as Stefan groaned and lifted up his head to get a better look at her.

"Yeah, I did say that didn't I? Well, We could-." Stefan began to suggest as he felt Elena's warm hands slowly inch underneath his black shirt, causing him to take a sharp intake of breath.

"You read my mind." She smirked, sliding down his body and achingly slowly moving towards his face, wiping the blood off her lips with her fingers. Stefan watched with a wide eyes as Elena took her finger and began to lick the blood from her victim off her. But, Stefan snatched away her hand from her mouth and licked the blood off himself, relishing in the metallic taste.

"Hey! That was my left over's." Elena complained, suddenly feeling pressure upon her, realizing that within an instant, she was laying on the floor. Her back was flat on the ground, breathing staggered as she locked her eyes on Stefan's darkened green gaze. He had flipped them over, he was now the one in control and hovering over her. Elena glanced up and him and saw that his green eyes were glistening wildly like a caged animal.

"Now it's mine. But, I can share." He told her, taunting her with his blood covered lips as Elena hissed at him, anger filling her body when she tried to capture his lips within hers. But, Stefan's quick reflexes pinned her arms down and he grinned widely. "You wanted to have fun...So, let's." Stefan told her smugly, pushing her pink colored shirt up slowly with his rough hands and leaning into her, leaving hot wet kisses against her stomach.

"Stefan..." Elena said through gritted teeth, her voice trailing off as she tried to push herself up and touch him. But, one of his hands ruggedly stopped her movements and she leaned back onto the floor, closing her eyes and feeling when he began to work his way up, loosely letting go of her arms when he moved to her lips and felt her chest raise and fall.

After a few agonizing minutes of torturing Elena with his lips, Stefan moved to her face, locking his gaze on her brown eyes once again, still receiving a vacant stare back as he leaned forward and whispered into her ear, words that made her shudder. "I want to lose myself."

Stefan watched as Elena blinked at him, hearing when she snickered and said in a lust filled tone. "In what?" She asked him, feeling the warmth of his breath wash over her face, the residual odor of blood still lingering in the air around them as she swallowed hard and her eyes fluttered shut when Elena heard Stefan reply, just inches away from her lips.

"In you." Stefan told her with a raspy tone, feeling as Elena's body stiffened under his touch when he leaned into her and finally captured his lips against hers. Elena cried out with pleasure when Stefan bit down on her lower lip and he heard himself moaning into her mouth, kissing her more fiercely as he quenched the craving for blood and desire all within this one emotionless girl.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! So, since a lot of you liked this little one shot that I did. I've decided to make it into a two shot fanfiction. I might add more to it if any of you want. But, I'm afraid it would just be a lot of Elena and Stefan getting high off blood together and having a lot of meaningless sex until they both eventually turned their feelings back on! **

**But, anyways. This chapter is a bit M Rated and smut filled and it's the first ever sort of really smut filled/ slight M rated thing I've written..So hopefully it won't be horrible! :) **

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**Losing Yourself- Chapter Two-**

Elena whimpered as she felt Stefan's teeth graze against her skin, he had been undressing her with his eyes all day long and up until the point of when she nearly threw him down against the floor and taunted him with her sexual advances, Stefan had tried to resist her.

However, now. He was losing his battle of fighting the urge to use her just like she was using him and that urge to sink his teeth into her olive colored skin, to taste her against his tongue was growing more and more with every kiss that deepened between them.

Suddenly Elena pushed herself away, her face changing in to the night walker that she now was. She watched as Stefan smiled at her, his pearly white teeth cleared from the bloodied mouth that he had earlier, his eyes darkened when he leaned into her and kissed her lips, an open mouthed kiss that if Elena had her feelings intact and her heart still beating, she would have probably shattered into a million little pieces just by the taste of his tongue against hers and the roughness of it grazing inside of her mouth.

She groaned out with pleasure, her hands running up and down his arms, slowly slipping off his shirt that was hiding his soft and muscular abs, his skin that she had traced with her finger tips so many times before in the past, when she actually wanted to love him.

But now, this craving for each other that they had, wasn't love. It was lust, a desire to fulfill the needs of each other and to get so wrapped up within one another that neither of them would care about what was going on around them, because all the walls in the house would fall, all the walls and non existing humanity would peak through as they lost themselves with pleasure, with meaningless sex and the desire to be closer.

Stefan bent down to kiss her neck, hearing as Elena's moans filled his ears, begging him to continue his assault of kissing her and touching her like she wasn't fragile anymore. Because, she wasn't. Now, instead of being the warm blooded, kind hearted girl that she once was. Elena's heart was darkened by the sheer fact that she didn't care about anything. Even him to some extent. But, of course..That was only what she would tell herself over and over again while she was with Damon and also that day inside of Damon's room after she stripped her cheerleading outfit off in front of Stefan, turning to change her clothing as she said "I've shut it all off, including my feelings for you."

Yet, maybe she was lying to herself. Maybe deep down within her far gone mind and soul. She loved him and she always would. Even if they were reckless together, even if they were so far gone and high off the blood. Elena would still choose Stefan over everything. She thought as she took her hand and slide it against his back, pulling up his shirt, half way over his body and tugging on it, hearing the fabric rip as Stefan's hands roamed down to the skirt she was wearing, undoing the buttons agonizingly slow and listening when her breathing hitched inside her chest and she spoke with a raspy tone.

"What is it about you that makes me wish I could feel? You're the only person that probably could bring me back from the edge. Not, Damon. He never could, too weak and gullible. Even with the sire bond. I knew that it was always you." Elena whispered against Stefan's ear, leaning into him and sucking on his ear lobe, feeling as his hands lifted up her skirt, just a little above her hips and lifting her up into his arms with one quick motion.

Elena watched as Stefan smirked, taking a moment to calm himself, not even caring that she could see the hunger in his eyes. Hunger not just for the blood. But, somewhere within his darkened green, hazy filled look. She could see a small part of his humanity, a small part of hunger for her.

"Careful, Elena. If I would have known any better. I would say that your humanity is showing when your with me." He murmured against her skin, nipping and biting down softly onto her flesh with his fangs, his eyes filling with the red gaze of a hunter as he sunk his teeth into her shoulder and Elena clutched onto him when she felt her back hit against the staircase. She smirked as she shook her head, shaking off the silly notion that they actually cared for one another anymore.

Because all Elena wanted was a meaningless night, no strings attached hook up with the one man that she knew loved her, even with his humanity turned off all the way. Or, so they both claimed within each other's presence, that neither of them cared for each other anymore. But the looks in their lust filled eyes, the shared longing gazes they had been giving each other all day long as they went on a bender together and drank for the same girl, was clearly telling a different story.

"Maybe just a little. But, funny thing is Stefan, for someone who claims that they don't give a damn. I can see the same thing in your eyes too when you look at me. Careful, Stefan..Your humanity is showing." Elena hissed out, her face changing once more as she lowered her head and gripped onto Stefan's shoulder's shuddering as she heard him hastily unbuckle the belt around his waistline, anticipation filling every fiber in her body, reawakening her sleeping soul when she felt his rough hands work their way under her skirt, his callused fingers grazing against her moistened entrance.

Within a second, Elena lost all her composure, her eyes rolling in the back of her head as Stefan lowered her panties down to her knees. She heard herself through gritted teeth, begging him for what she knew they both needed.

A release from potential feeling, for being burdened and from all the pain that they had caused each other, they needed to set themselves free and get lost in the heated skin, the moisten kisses and the most meaningless sex that either of them could have with each other. Yet, somewhere within themselves, they both knew it wasn't as meaningless as they both claimed. That the kisses and the looks, the soft whisperings of silent 'I love you's' still meant something even with their humanity turned off.

Their bodies begging for the need to be closer and just as she brought her hand up to touch Stefan's face, his veins under his eyes ever so present, Elena cried out when he thrust into her. Her moaning and whimpering, her begging for more filling his ears as he rocked against her, back and forth. Elena opened her watery blood shot brown eyes, a grin on her face as she inhaled a staggered breath and wrapped her legs tighter around his body, clawing at his skin when he pumped himself inside her and she heard herself groaning out with pleasure when she began to scream out his name over and over again in uneven breathes.

"Stefan, please.." Elena murmured, leaning up to kiss his shoulder, to sink her sharp fangs into his skin and to feel him all around her, not just his body weight on top of hers, but to have his blood pumping inside of her, filling the desires and passions that they both craved. But, to also fill the wavering of herself because as he continued to thrust inside of her, Elena knew that she was losing all control and that was the one thing that she wanted. Elena wanted him to be the one to want her, to need her so badly that she was all he could think about, the impulsive, selfish young vampire.

Briskly, she pushed herself against him, crying out even more as she tightened her muscles around him and feeling as he himself shattered above her. Stefan's body tensing as Elena clutched onto him for dear life and sped them upstairs, using her brisk speed. She heard Stefan moan against her ears when she pushed them up against the wall, flipping them around so that her back was up against it and her watery mouth left a kiss against his over heated flesh, the veins under her eyes turning emotionless once again as she leaned her head down and bit into his sweaty and sweet tasting skin, just below his neck.

His blood rushing into her mouth when she leaned her head back and unraveled one of her hands from his neck, staring at him with something that resembled longing when she bent forward, his blood still dripping off her lips as she watched Stefan's green hazy eyes turn into the hunter that he clearly was and he took one of his hands from around her waist line, feeling when her legs slide down against him and he touched her face, intimately gazing into her eyes as he licked his own blood off of her quivering and tantalizing red lips.

Elena laughed a bit when he kissed her again, pushing her roughly into the wall and leaning into her ear, his rugged voice sending a tremor down her spine as he spoke. "Is this what you wanted? A meaningless one night stand with me?"

Elena cleared her throat, feeling the coldness automatically appear when Stefan stepped back, fixing his pants and zipping up his zipper as he smirked at her, a drunken look of love and infatuation for the girl in front of him when he watched Elena run her hands through her hair and casually walk towards him, running her fingertips softly against his rose tattoo on his arm as she spoke in a velvety, love laced tone

"Yes. I want all of you. Here. Now. I want to get so lost into you that maybe by a sliver of hope. We can make each other feel again. I want to be so far gone in side of you that nothing else will matter except for us. So, what do you say. Want to go again? We can make it really fun." Elena explained, a taunting in her tone as she stood in front of him, her lips just inches away from his when she stared into his blank expression.

"What is it about you that makes me want to let it all back in? I'd break down all these walls just to feel something for you. More than just the deep need to fill my empty and haunted soul with this meaningless pleasure." Stefan told her, watching as Elena looked up at him.

He heard as she chuckled a bit, a wide smile on her face when she lowered her skirt down again to where it needed to be, covering up herself a little as she inched closer towards his lips and drifted there for a moment when she spoke in a low, lust filled voice. "Because, Stefan. You and I are each other's weaknesses. We're more alike than you think." Elena commented, turning him around and pushing him roughly against the wall again, kissing him with a fiery passion on his metallic tasting lips and starting where they had left off from earlier, all over again.

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**A/N: Please let me know what you all think, hopefully it wasn't too sucky! **

**However, if any of you have any ideas for me to do another one shot or drabble between these two. Let me know, I'll gladly try to do it! :) **

**Thanks for reading!**


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